Worst/Most Hilarious Nightmare I've EVER had!!!

Note: Okay, I know this post is text-heavy and has no pictures (I just couldn't bring myself to draw them), but trust me. It's worth reading.

Okay, so I'm the kind of "lucky" person who remembers her dreams when she wakes up. My brother is the type of person who claims that he never has dreams, but eventually admits that he's sure he has dreams, he just doesn't remember anything about them as soon as he wakes up. Sometimes, I wish I was that type of person, because I rarely have good dreams. On the flipside, I rarely have bad dreams either. What I have are WEIRD AS ALL HECK dreams. Seriously. Salvador Dali has nothing on me.

My husband says that every time I'm about to tell him one of my dreams, I preface it with "I had a really weird dream last night." Every time. And since he's told me, I've noticed that he's right. Every single time. "I had a really weird dream last night!" "Oh, more weird than normal?" "Uh, well... I guess not. I guess it was just a regular weird dream. Regular for me anyways."

So enough stalling. Last night I actually had what I'd consider a "bad" weird dream. Not just weird, but the kind of weird that had me frightened when I woke up. And then when I thought about it, I realized that it wasn't that bad (it's never as bad when you wake up and realize that there's no way it could ever happen); it's hilarious!

Here goes: It started off with me looking in the mirror and realizing that I looked exactly like Jennifer Connelly (my favorite actress, ever since falling in love with her in "Labyrinth"). Not bad at all! I had blue and purple hair, but hey, that's pretty cool. Then I went outside to play in the snow and had to chase this brown rabbit around (not an Alice in Wonderland-type rabbit. A real, live, not-wearing-a-pocketwatch-or-waistcoat-type rabbit) before it managed to hop onto the ice and potentially fall into the frozen lake. So picture a blue/purple-haired Jennifer Connelly running around in the snow, frantically trying to catch a brown rabbit. Remember the brown rabbit. It's foreshadowing of things to come.

A bit harrowing to say the least. But this isn't even the bad part. This is the "regularly scheduled weird" part. Then the rabbit disappeared (not into the lake. Just *poof! Gone!) and my "dad" (a guy that looks nothing like my father, but who in my dream I somehow *knew was my dad) called me inside our apartment building, which was actually a shopping mall. I go inside, get told that there are zombies around and if they bite me, I'll turn into a zombie. Cliche, right? Oh, except for the fact that the zombies can be held at bay by playing steel drum music. Weird.

So I'm in our apartment (in the MALL?!?), with Caribbean-style steel drum music playing to keep zombies away, when one of our cats comes over to me. He looks a little weird, and I notice that he doesn't have eyes, just brown spots where his eyes should be. This is the weird/scary/hilarious part. I then somehow knew that this was a side-effect of the zombie infection spreading throughout our world. What is this side-effect? *drum roll please................

Our cats' litterbox craps had come to life, covered themselves with our cat's shedded hair to look like our cats, and would infect cats (making them zombie cats who could infect humans if they bit them) if we didn't catch them and squish them back into harmless piles of poo.

Yeah, really scary in the dream (I have to squish a poop cat back into a poop pile while somehow managing not to get bitten by their poop teeth - which maybe were made up of our cats' shed claws? - in the process or I will become one of the living dead!!! AAAAAAUGH!!!!), really hilarious when you wake up and think back on it.

Yeah, so the rest of that dream involved me chasing around three craptacular cats (to match our three cats), trying to squish them into oblivion, all the while making sure that they 1) didn't bite me; 2) didn't bite my cats and make them zombie cats; and 3) didn't escape our mall apartment to wreak havoc upon other humans and felines!!!

*Sigh. Sometimes I wish I was one of those people that didn't remember my dreams. And I'm not even going to mention the dream I had a few nights ago that involved Nathan Fillion (of Firefly fame) and me getting sucked into a medieval-style video game and having to fight our way out. "I had another really weird dream last night." "Really weird? Or just regular weird?" "REALLY weird!!!"

35 Questions: 1-word answers

So I was tagged by the Lost Earring to answer these 35 questions with just 1-word answers. It was tougher than I thought it would be for many of the questions, but I hope it still gives you a better idea of who I am! :D

1 Where is your cell phone? Purse
2 Your hair? Brown
3 Your mother? Lively
4 Your father? Smart
5 Your favorite food? Indian
6 Your dream last night? Croatia
7 Your favorite drink? Water
8 Your dream/goal? Non-profit
9 What room are you in? Living
10 Your hobby? Reading
11 Your fear? BEEEEEEEEEEZ!!!!!
12 Where do you want to be in six years? House
13 Where were you last night? Home
14 Something that you aren't? Religious
15 Muffins? Warm
16 Wish list item? Dog
17 Where did you grow up? Boston
18 Last thing you did? Laughed
19 What are you wearing? Comfy
20 Your TV? Cableless
21 Your pets? Cats
22 Friends? Awesome
23 Your life? Good
24 Your mood? Sarcastic
25 Missing someone? Friends
26 Vehicle? Used
27 Something you're not wearing? Kilt
28 Your favorite store? Etsy!
29 Your favorite color? Blue
30 When was the last time you laughed? Today
31 Last time you cried? Yesterday.
32 Your best friend? Kyle
33 One place that I go over and over? Library
34 One person who emails you regularly? Husband
35 Favorite place to eat? Creperie

My attempt at a sugar skull

Okay, so I didn't have any sugar skull moulds (molds? Neither one looks right, but apparently I can use either! Love the word "mouldering" when used on gravestones - like in the historic cemetery near where I live. "Here the bones of Ezekiel Burrows lie mouldering..." So creepy!), so I decided that making a "sugar cookie" skull in preparation for el Dia de los Muertos (November 1) would be good enough. *Sigh. My frosting decorating skills could sure use some work. Here's the result:
Scary, huh? But not in a good way. Or at least, not the way I wanted it to come out. His upper teeth look more like a wiggly mustache, the red for his nose bled (ha ha. Pun intented) outwards making it look more like a squished strawberry, and we're not even going to talk about the eyes. Overall I'd say I succeeded more at making a nightmarish clown than a Mexican sugar skull, but at least it tasted good (albeit giving me a huge sugar rush. I'm a big frosting fan)!

Name Anagram Generator

This is one of the best "name anagram generators" I've found so far! You put in your name (full name, just first and last, nicknames, anything you'd like!) and it rearranges those letters into actual words, creating a strange or hilarious phrase!

Tell me what you end up with (no need to tell me your real name. Just what the result was)! My favorite anagram for my name (plus nickname) was DEATHLIKE KEENER KARATE. How awesome does that sound?!? Or my cat, Chester Copperpot, got PROSPECT HOT CREEP. Great, no? Try out a family or friend's name! Give it a whirl! It's definitely good for a laugh or two!

This Is Why We Shouldn't Cook...

This is what happens when my husband and I try to cook. Can you tell what's wrong with this picture? Yes, it's a pizza that looks like an ear. Ear pizza. Sound appetizing? Yeah, not so much. We couldn't get the dough to spread in a circular fashion, so when we popped it in the oven, we thought, "bah, who cares? So the crust'll look like a lima bean. No problem." Little did we know that during the cooking process, our bean pizza would slowly morph into "The Van Gogh Special." Doesn't really make your mouth water, does it? Especially with the earwax-colored grease on the pineapple section. Ewwww. Looks like it came off of a boxer's head (we shoulda put some cauliflower on it. Get it? Cauliflower ear?...It's funny. Trust me). It did taste fine, however, and once we sliced it up it looked a lot more appetizing.


Yeah, you may also notice the cutting board that we put it on. See the fish picture on the upper left corner? Yep. This is one of those cutting boards that are supposed to be reserved for specific types of food (fish, chicken, red meat, and vegetables). This is clearly the fish board. Are we using it for fish? Definitely not. *Sigh. We've never really gotten around to using these boards for their original purpose, since we don't cook meat all that often. I use the red meat one for my polymer clay work (don't worry! It was never used - yeah, we really don't cook red meat ever- so don't think that I'm using a butcher block for my clay molding!). Yeah, we're not the greatest cooks, but we try, often with hilarious results.

I'll leave you with a few cute photos. Here's Chester looking all festive with a pile of mini pumpkins.
And the three all getting along on their new cat post. I call it the tower of power. We've got Chester at the top, Cupcake on the next, and Rosalita hanging out in the hidey-hole. Glad they're all getting along! They don't mind our cooking (granted, their food comes straight out of bags and cans, but still)!

My Halloween Tree Treasury!

So I managed to snag a treasury this evening and I've made it inspired by Ray Bradbury's story "The Halloween Tree." Bradbury's a favorite of mine and he's a perfect read if you want to get into a spooky, autumn, Halloween-y (halloweinie?) mood! I recommend "The October Country" or "Something Wicked This Way Comes" (also a creepy movie starring Jason Robards) or "From The Dust Returned" or... well, "The Halloween Tree!"

Please check out my treasury here! And check out the awesome Etsians who made such spooky stuff!


The treasury is set to expire this Wednesday at 11:54pm, so don't wait to give it a look!

Stuff I'm really proud of

These are some of my works that I've been really proud of. Some are for sale, some aren't, some were actually sold (huzzah)! Since I'm not a trained artist (unless you count those drawing classes I took in 3rd grade, which consisted mostly of the teacher having us copy images from old Nature magazines. I imagine it's much like what Andy Warhol's trained crew of artists had to do), I get a little overly critical of my work, seeing little flaws and getting down about them. But I still love what I do, and sometimes, just sometimes, I think that the stuff I make comes out practically perfect in every way (to quote Mary Poppins)! These are some of those items. Enjoy!

This painting is one of the first large acrylics that I've done and I still can't get over how awesome it came out. "Saturday In The Park" is actually the name of this painting, done before I even had joined Etsy and he's now the banner for my Saturday In The Park store. And yes, it's a line from the Chicago song.
I wanted to do something funny, colorful and relatively easy (note to all artists : Manatees are very easy to do. Grey blob, add cute muzzle, big eyes and fat flippers, double chin and boom! Realistic manatee) and I was inspired by Bren Bataclan's work (click here to see his awesome paintings). Bren Bataclan did a "Smile Boston" project while I was living there (leaving free paintings around Boston, telling people to take the painting as long as they can make people smile throughout the day. What a cool idea!) and while I never found one of his works, I was definitely influenced by his style. And I love love how it came out!

This is one of the first pendants I made. I call him Swirly Gold Sheep. Fairly simple, but I love the look of it. His swirly golden fleece (much more easily attained than the mythical one) and big ol' green stone eyes! So cute! I'm a big fan of knitting, though I haven't sold any of my knitted wares yet. I tend to foist those on family members. This sheep reminds me of the two times I went to see sheep being sheared when I was in grade school. I passed out at the sight of blood both times. But I also got to be the first one to pet the lambs afterwards!

This is Hercule, the Dapper Cockroach. My husband and I had to deal with a mini cockroach infestation when we moved into one of our apartments and it inspired me to create a larger version of this painting. I figured if I could think of the cockroaches as silly mustachioed gents with bow-ties and monocles, I'd be a lot less scared of them. Amazingly enough, it worked! I'm still not a huge roach fan, so thankfully the exterminator got rid of them all. All except for Hercule.

This guy is a bit more "Mature" so if you're afraid of things that loosely resemble male genitalia, you should scroll past this next work.

This is Jareth, the Knob-lin King (a phallus pendant parody of Jareth the goblin king from the movie "Labyrinth")! Geeky phallus pendants/magnets are actually how I started out selling on Etsy. I made a bunch for a friend's bachelorette party and she, knowing how much I was a fan of buying stuff on Etsy, suggested that I could sell them! So I have. Jareth is one of the pendants I've sold so far, along with "Dildo Baggins" a Lord of the Rings parody. I think I have WAY too much fun making these guys. :)

This green Cthulhu pendant is one of the creepier items I've sold. If you don't know about Cthulhu, a tentacled, winged evil ocean god created by the writer H.P. Lovecraft, I highly recommend reading his horror stories! This little guy came out just perfect! Perfectly evil!

This is a sketchbook I've topped with a design I call "Mr. Blue Sky" (yes, from the ELO song). Made from mushing a whole bunch of blues together, stamping with script, glazing over it with a silver paint and then adding a rainbow, clouds, beautifully shiny dichroic glass stones (if you've never heard of dichroic glass, check it out! It's become one of my favorite forms of glasswork on Etsy! So shiny and sparkly!), and a silver key charm. I wasn't entirely sure how this would look until it was done, but the writing across the sky and the bright eye-catching rainbow and key just sealed it as one of my faves. Makes me feel like I had a little extra magic in my hands while I was making it. If only I could buy more magic on Etsy...

And lastly, this little lovesick robot. He's not for sale. I made him for my fabulous husband. I was inspired by all of the awesome robot creators on the Etsy website. There are just so many and they're all so talented. I don't think I'll ever get into making lots of robots, but this little guy just warmed my heart as I was making him (probably because of my feelings for the recipient of this robot). Who can resist technological romance?

I sure make some weird stuff

I sure make some bizarre things.

Some of the bizarre things aren't from my own imagination, like the Cthulhu pendants. Those are all inspired by the weird mind of author H.P. Lovecraft.
Nobody does weird like Lovecraft! My take on his Cthulhu mythos.

Others are inspired by real-life experiences (like how dealing with a cockroach infestation in one of my apartments led me to create my Dapper Cockroach painting).
Just straightening his bow tie for the soiree this evening!

My geeky phallus pendants were originally made for a dear friend's bachelorette party (of course since then I've added more to the mix) and I've now taken those to the nth degree.
Robin Wood, The Poker, Spider-Wang, The Boner who Lived, and Dildo Baggins.

But some of these I'm not really sure how the ideas for them popped into my head. But I'm sure the world is a little weirder for it!

A one-eyed, hairy, blue monster wearing mittens?

Okay, I can tell that a certain cartoon sponge inspired "Spongeboob Squarepants," but I'm not really sure where the rest of the inspiration came from!

Another one-eyed monster? Or is this just half of his face? Either way, he's in need of some serious dental work.

A "Fruit Fly." Get it? I can hear you groaning.