Friday, October 23, 2009

Worst/Most Hilarious Nightmare I've EVER had!!!

Note: Okay, I know this post is text-heavy and has no pictures (I just couldn't bring myself to draw them), but trust me. It's worth reading.

Okay, so I'm the kind of "lucky" person who remembers her dreams when she wakes up. My brother is the type of person who claims that he never has dreams, but eventually admits that he's sure he has dreams, he just doesn't remember anything about them as soon as he wakes up. Sometimes, I wish I was that type of person, because I rarely have good dreams. On the flipside, I rarely have bad dreams either. What I have are WEIRD AS ALL HECK dreams. Seriously. Salvador Dali has nothing on me.

My husband says that every time I'm about to tell him one of my dreams, I preface it with "I had a really weird dream last night." Every time. And since he's told me, I've noticed that he's right. Every single time. "I had a really weird dream last night!" "Oh, more weird than normal?" "Uh, well... I guess not. I guess it was just a regular weird dream. Regular for me anyways."

So enough stalling. Last night I actually had what I'd consider a "bad" weird dream. Not just weird, but the kind of weird that had me frightened when I woke up. And then when I thought about it, I realized that it wasn't that bad (it's never as bad when you wake up and realize that there's no way it could ever happen); it's hilarious!

Here goes: It started off with me looking in the mirror and realizing that I looked exactly like Jennifer Connelly (my favorite actress, ever since falling in love with her in "Labyrinth"). Not bad at all! I had blue and purple hair, but hey, that's pretty cool. Then I went outside to play in the snow and had to chase this brown rabbit around (not an Alice in Wonderland-type rabbit. A real, live, not-wearing-a-pocketwatch-or-waistcoat-type rabbit) before it managed to hop onto the ice and potentially fall into the frozen lake. So picture a blue/purple-haired Jennifer Connelly running around in the snow, frantically trying to catch a brown rabbit. Remember the brown rabbit. It's foreshadowing of things to come.

A bit harrowing to say the least. But this isn't even the bad part. This is the "regularly scheduled weird" part. Then the rabbit disappeared (not into the lake. Just *poof! Gone!) and my "dad" (a guy that looks nothing like my father, but who in my dream I somehow *knew was my dad) called me inside our apartment building, which was actually a shopping mall. I go inside, get told that there are zombies around and if they bite me, I'll turn into a zombie. Cliche, right? Oh, except for the fact that the zombies can be held at bay by playing steel drum music. Weird.

So I'm in our apartment (in the MALL?!?), with Caribbean-style steel drum music playing to keep zombies away, when one of our cats comes over to me. He looks a little weird, and I notice that he doesn't have eyes, just brown spots where his eyes should be. This is the weird/scary/hilarious part. I then somehow knew that this was a side-effect of the zombie infection spreading throughout our world. What is this side-effect? *drum roll please................

Our cats' litterbox craps had come to life, covered themselves with our cat's shedded hair to look like our cats, and would infect cats (making them zombie cats who could infect humans if they bit them) if we didn't catch them and squish them back into harmless piles of poo.

Yeah, really scary in the dream (I have to squish a poop cat back into a poop pile while somehow managing not to get bitten by their poop teeth - which maybe were made up of our cats' shed claws? - in the process or I will become one of the living dead!!! AAAAAAUGH!!!!), really hilarious when you wake up and think back on it.

Yeah, so the rest of that dream involved me chasing around three craptacular cats (to match our three cats), trying to squish them into oblivion, all the while making sure that they 1) didn't bite me; 2) didn't bite my cats and make them zombie cats; and 3) didn't escape our mall apartment to wreak havoc upon other humans and felines!!!

*Sigh. Sometimes I wish I was one of those people that didn't remember my dreams. And I'm not even going to mention the dream I had a few nights ago that involved Nathan Fillion (of Firefly fame) and me getting sucked into a medieval-style video game and having to fight our way out. "I had another really weird dream last night." "Really weird? Or just regular weird?" "REALLY weird!!!"

No comments:

Post a Comment